Am I Curing My Addictions or Just Trading Vice for Vice?
Addiction is a tricky thing. It’s not always the dramatic spiral we see in movies, with lives crumbling under the weight of bad decisions. Sometimes, it’s quieter, and harder to spot.
Addiction is a tricky thing. It’s not always the dramatic spiral we see in movies, with lives crumbling under the weight of bad decisions.
Sometimes, it’s quieter, harder to spot: a silent tether to something that offers a quick escape or a fleeting sense of control. And when we finally manage to break free from one vice, there’s often another waiting in the wings, ready to fill the void.
I had one of those moments recently. I was sitting there, looking down at my hands, and in one was an energy drink, in the other, a vape. And it hit me.
I used to drink a lot. I used to smoke a lot. But I wasn’t closing down bars or making a public mess of myself. Most people didn’t even know. My drinking was quiet, polishing off a bottle at home while I tried to cope with a failing relationship, a crumbling emotional state, and a career that felt like it was slipping through my fingers.
When I finally quit drinking for relief and smoking cigarettes to feel something, I thought I had made it. I honestly believed I’d conquered my addictions.
But staring at that energy drink and vape, I felt that familiar nagging question creep in:
Did I really cure anything? Sure, vaping isn’t as bad as smoking, and energy drinks aren’t as destructive as alcohol.
But had I really healed, or just traded one vice for another?
The Shape-Shifting Nature of Addiction
When people think of addiction, it’s easy to picture substances like alcohol, nicotine, or drugs. But addiction isn’t always about what we consume; it’s about the patterns we create to numb pain, avoid discomfort, or feel some semblance of control.
The real root of addiction often lies in unmet needs, unresolved emotions, or just the inability to sit with ourselves when things get hard.
Looking at that vape and energy drink, I had to wonder:
Are these just the latest forms of an old habit?
I wasn’t drinking myself to sleep anymore, and I wasn’t lighting up a cigarette every time I felt stressed.
But was I still chasing the same kind of escape?
The Rise of “Better” Vices
This is where it gets tricky. Some vices are easy to recognize as harmful, but others? They’re not just accepted, they’re practically celebrated.
Overworking is seen as ambition. Constantly checking our phones? Just staying connected.
Even health and wellness habits like obsessive fitness can become problematic when they’re fueled by the same compulsive energy that once drove more destructive behaviors.
In my case, no one really questions an energy drink or a vape. They’re subtle, common, and nowhere near as stigmatized as drinking a bottle of whiskey alone in your apartment. But deep down, I knew I wasn’t just enjoying these things casually. I was leaning on them. And that realization hit harder than I expected.
The Illusion of Control
One of the most seductive parts of trading one vice for another is the illusion of control.
We tell ourselves we’ve overcome our addictions because the new habits look different. But addiction isn’t just about the what; it’s about the why.
I quit drinking and smoking to feel healthier and more in control of my life. But somewhere along the line, I picked up the new habits to fill the same void.
Healing Beyond the Habit
So, how do we move beyond just swapping one addiction for another? It starts with self-awareness.
For me, that moment of realization wasn’t just about recognizing the behavior; it was about digging into why I was still reaching for something. Am I anxious? Bored? Trying to fill a space that felt too quiet?
Drinking coffee, working out, or even enjoying an energy drink isn’t inherently bad. But when those things become crutches, when we can’t get through the day without them, it’s worth pausing and asking what’s really going on beneath the surface.
The Path Forward
Breaking free from addiction isn’t a straight, tidy path. It’s messy, complicated, and full of moments of clarity followed by setbacks. But the goal isn’t perfection; it’s progress. It’s learning to sit with discomfort without immediately reaching for something to numb it.
Make choices from a place of intention, not compulsion.
I’m still figuring it out. Some days, I catch myself reaching for that energy drink or vape without thinking.
Sometimes, it’s about the small wins. Like leaving the vape at home when I run to the store, resisting that automatic grab for it as I head out the door. Or deciding to skip the energy drink for the day, even though I know the caffeine withdrawal might spike my chronic migraines.
Those choices aren’t always easy, and they don’t always feel victorious in the moment. But they’re steps toward something better: toward a life where I’m not just trading vices, but actually learning how to live without needing them.
Curing addiction isn’t just about removing harmful behaviors as much as it is about building a life that doesn’t need to be escaped from. And that’s not something you can trade for; it’s something you create, one honest moment at a time.
If you feel comfortable, share your struggles and/or celebrations below or in our chat and we can connect as a community!
Pretty sure food is my addiction. I wish I liked exercise instead. My brother in law used to do drugs. Then he replaced that with thrill seeking activities. Toned it down and exercised. Now he’s drinking and getting blackout drunk. Like you say, he has unmet needs. But he refuses to admit that. So around and around he goes. As for me, I think I’ve forever lived with the ache of loss. Not sure that will ever go away. But I can maybe put my energy into healthier things. It just takes practice.