Control is Overrated: Master the Art of Letting Go

We love control. We cling to it like it’s a life raft, convinced that if we just grip tight enough, we can bend reality to our will. Except, that’s not how life works and deep down, we all know it.

Feb 26, 2025

We love control. We cling to it like it’s a life raft, convinced that if we just grip tight enough, we can bend reality to our will. Plans, schedules, meticulously crafted to-do lists… they’re our shields against that chaos. If we can just anticipate every curveball, we’ll be safe, right?

Except, no. That’s not how life works, and deep down, we all know it.

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We’re all control freaks (even if we don’t admit it.)

Control feels like security. It’s why we overthink every decision, try to plan conversations before they even happen, and sometimes micromanage everyone around us. If we can just map it all out, nothing will catch us off guard.

I hate to bring you the bad news, but life doesn’t care about our plans. I’m sure you have had your perfect day ruined by a last-minute meeting, or watched your best-laid vacation go sideways thanks to a flight delay or a stomach bug.

That’s life laughing at our obsession with control.

And when things don’t go according to plan, we don’t just feel inconvenienced, we feel betrayed.

Like the universe had the audacity to mess with our script. It’s exhausting, trying to puppeteer every detail. But we do it anyway because letting go feels risky.

There’s a price to holding on.

Here’s the dirty little secret about control: It doesn’t actually protect us.

It traps us.

We get so fixated on how things should go that we miss out on how they could go.

We resist change, even when staying the same is clearly making us miserable.

We cling to toxic relationships because the unknown feels scarier than the familiar pain.

We hold onto dead-end jobs because at least we know what to expect every day.

We stick to outdated dreams because admitting we’ve outgrown them feels like failure.

What if the things we’re so afraid to let go of are the very things holding us back?

Surrender doesn’t mean losing

Let’s clear something up: Surrender isn’t the same as giving up. It’s not about rolling over and letting life trample you. It’s about realizing you don’t need to control every outcome to be okay.

When have you felt truly at peace?

I’d bet it was in a moment when you stopped fighting against the current and just let yourself be.

Surrender is about trusting that, even if things don’t go according to plan, you’ll figure it out.

Spoiler alert: You always do.

So, how do you actually let go?

This is the part where most people roll their eyes because it sounds so cliché.

But letting go is a skill, and like any skill, it takes practice. Here’s how to start:

Figure Out What You’re Gripping Like a Lifeline: Is it an expectation? A belief? A version of yourself you’re afraid to outgrow? Get real about why you’re holding on.
Get Cozy with Uncertainty: Newsflash—nothing is guaranteed. The more you make peace with that, the freer you’ll feel.
Flip the Script: Instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” try asking, “What’s this trying to teach me?” I know it sounds cheesy, but it works.
Accept the Mess: Acceptance doesn’t mean liking or agreeing with what’s happening. It just means acknowledging it without fighting it.
Be Here Now: Most control issues come from obsessing over the past or stressing about the future. Neither of those places exist right now. Stick to the present.

Have you had to let go of something recently?
Let us know in the comments:

There’s perks to letting go

Here’s the wild part: When you finally loosen your grip, you make room for the unexpected, and sometimes the unexpected is better than anything you could’ve planned.

You meet people you never would’ve crossed paths with, stumble into opportunities you didn’t even know existed, and discover parts of yourself you didn’t realize were there.

Life starts to feel a lot less like a battle and more like an adventure.

But none of that can happen if you’re too busy trying to control every detail.

So, what would happen if you let go just a little?

If you stopped trying to force things to fit your vision and allowed life to surprise you?

If you trusted that you could handle whatever comes next, even if it’s messy or complicated or completely different from what you expected?

Maybe, just maybe, you’d find a freedom you didn’t even know you were missing.

And isn’t that worth the risk?