New Perspectives: Rooting Into Joy

When stress takes over, I’ve learned to reroot myself back into joy.

Nighttime routines.

Every night before bed, my daughter, my wife, and I go through our little routine. It’s something I know I’ll miss when I start my new job — and something I’ll miss, period, as she grows older.

But this routine brings me joy. It reminds me to enjoy the slow moments, because time is fleeting, and there’s no slowing it down.

Bath time. Snack time. Holding her close. Doing our little rockabye before bed. I wouldn’t be who I am without those silent, rocking moments of reflection.

Some nights, she falls asleep in my arms, and I just close my eyes and soak it in, that this little being trusts me to deliver her to dreamland in peace. The inner child in me feels so much peace and joy knowing I can bring safety to my daughter. There’s a quiet kind of confidence in that.

Just a few years ago, I didn’t think I could ever provide that kind of safety.

And when she’s awake and I get to make her laugh, or watch her bounce and dance to music, I feel something I didn’t get much of growing up.

Not because my family didn’t encourage it, but because I always felt like I had to stay guarded. That wasn’t anyone’s fault exactly. It’s just… who I was. Or how I adapted.

I didn’t know how to communicate.

I didn’t know how to express myself.

I masked it all without knowing.

Instead, I focused on what I could do with the tools my brain gave me. I think that came from a mix of repression, being on the spectrum, and a misdiagnosis of ADHD.

But I’ve learned I can rewire some of that. Or at least reroute it. I’m learning to replace old responses with new ones – real ones.

My process is as follows:

Instead of repressing, I process.

I redirect and I root into joy.

When something is happening that I feel I have little control, I think back to the last time I felt joy, or the last time I felt whole.

Then I sit with that feeling and that memory and I let it wrap me. After that I move forward with my day. It's not foolproof, but it is a way of grounding and centering myself that has been simple yet so very powerful.

Which reminds me of this quote by Robert Brault:

“Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”

— Robert Brault

Take it home.

You may not be a parent, and you may have a different view on what brings you joy. THAT IS OKAY!

I still encourage you to apply this to your life; when you are stressed or times are tough try to root your thoughts in joy.

Even when the walls are falling down around you, sit, reflect, and root into a joyful memory where you felt at peace. It may work for you, it may not, but that’s what helps me focus on joy: the slow, the smiley, and the quiet moments.

Thanks for sticking around and peeking into my brain and heart on this topic!