The Quiet Hours & Why I Stay Up Late

There’s a certain kind of peace that only comes at night. The world stops asking for your attention. No emails. No notifications. Just quiet. Just space. Just time that actually feels like your own.

There’s a certain kind of peace that only comes at night. The world stops asking for your attention. No emails. No notifications. Just quiet. Just space. Just time that actually feels like your own.

For me, that’s when I get to work. Not because I have to, but because I finally can. Maddie is asleep. Bree and I can relax together. The house is still. And for the first time all day, I can settle into something without interruption.

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Real Talk About Balance

I fucking love being a parent, but I need that space. I need time where I can just be a person, not somebody's life source. I know it'll probably get easier as she gets older, but right now, this is what works.

At the same time, I don't want her to grow up thinking I was always working, because I'm not. I make sure to spend time with her, to be present when she needs me. We play, we talk, and I set my work aside when she wants my attention. But the reality is that when I finally get back to work, it takes longer to finish.

Eventually, I'll be able to carve out time more easily. Right now, though, this is just how it has to be. I'm here, I'm present, I'm with her. I know that won't last forever either, and her joy will always be more important than my work.

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The Late Night Routine

At least I'm not doing it alone. Bree (my fiancé) and I have this rhythm at night that I think is pretty unique.

She works in retail, so before she gets home, I use that time to knock out as much as I can (like writing this article). By the time she gets home, I've already been in the zone for a while.

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Then we settle into our version of winding down. I keep working, but she's right there next to me. Sometimes she's planning wedding stuff. Sometimes she's just hanging out. We put on a show in the background, talk in between moments of focus, and just exist in the same space together.

It works for us. We don't have to be doing the same thing to feel connected. Just being there is enough. There's something comforting about having someone next to you while you work, even if you're both locked into different tasks. It makes the late nights feel less lonely.

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Looking Forward

I think a lot about balance. About whether I'm doing this right. I don't want to look back and regret how I spent my time. But I also don't want to feel like I didn't try hard enough to build the life we want.

It's a tough spot to be in, knowing that right now, the grind is necessary. But I remind myself why I'm doing it. This isn't just about now. It's about making sure that a few years from now, we won't have to push this hard anymore.

So, I stay up late. Not because I'm avoiding life—it's because right now, this is what makes sense for us. For the future we're trying to build.