The Hidden Burden of Unspoken Words (and How to Lighten It)
Why holding in feelings drains you more than sharing them, and gentle ways to start opening up.
We don’t always notice how much energy it takes to keep something inside.
Think about the last time you swallowed your words in a conversation, replaying what you wished you had said long after it ended.
That lingering tension isn’t just in your mind, it settles into your body.
The thoughts we never say, the feelings we never name, the truths we quietly carry don’t fade on their own. They settle in, heavier with time, pressing on us in ways we don’t always see: tension in our shoulders, restless nights, a quiet frustration we can’t quite explain.
Sometimes it shows up as irritability over small things, or as a constant tiredness we can’t shake. Our minds are constantly working to hold these things in place, and that work is exhausting.
Opening up doesn’t have to mean pouring everything out at once.
It can be as simple as giving yourself permission to release a little of that weight.
Maybe that’s telling a friend, "I’m not doing as well as I look."
Maybe it’s writing a note you never send, just so the words exist somewhere outside of you.
Maybe it’s saying the words out loud when you’re alone, just to hear how they sound in the air instead of echoing only in your head.
When we speak even a small truth, it changes something. The weight shifts. The pressure eases. It’s like opening a window in a stuffy room; you may not be outside yet, but you can breathe a little easier.
Many of us have been taught to keep quiet.
We’re told not to “burden” others, to handle our feelings alone. But holding things in doesn’t erase them.
They can surface in other ways… anxiety, stress headaches, trouble sleeping, or a constant hum of unease that lingers throughout the day.
Small releases matter.
They create space for your mind and body to recover. Even small actions can have a big impact over time.
A few gentle ways to start, grouped by how they help release emotional weight:
Write down one feeling you’ve been avoiding, no matter how small.
Share a truth you’ve been holding back with someone you trust.
Practice saying how you feel in the mirror, without judgment.
Let yourself cry, even if it’s only for a minute.
Start a journal where no one will read your words unless you choose.
Send a quick text to a friend, even if it’s just, “I’ve been holding something in and I don’t know how to say it yet.”
You don’t have to let it all out at once.
Lightening the load can be a gradual process.
Releasing even a few words can restore a sense of clarity and make it easier to breathe.
Every truth spoken, written, or acknowledged is a step toward reclaiming your energy and peace.
To quote Mrs McCartney; “Let it Be”. Wise words from her and you.
Oh, 100 percent.
A physio once looked at me and said, “You’re the type who stuffs it all down until you explode.”
He wasn’t wrong.
Lesson learned - just not in time to dodge the full-body malaise.