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Michelle Buck's avatar

My childhood homes. Sadly my first home was demolished! Then I learned my elementary school was as well. So strange they are just gone. My second home is still standing. I went there probably 15 years ago now and it looked so much smaller than I remember. We used to skate up and down the driveway and I thought “that’s not as long as I remember”. We moved from Minnesota to Wisconsin (just across the border) and even going back to my kids childhood home - they tore the big tree from the front yard. I find a lot of sadness in going back. Maybe it’s just me. I like to remember things as they were and going back makes me realize it will never be that way again.

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Jake's avatar

Sometimes for me, realizing they’re never going to be the same again is the thing I use to power the memory of what was there. Keeps me almost… realigned I guess in a sense. Makes me have more gratitude. But it does take a LOT of sadness and really sitting and feeling that emotion. I went back to my grandmothers trailer one day. She died at a house in a city over but her trailer stayed, untouched the few years before she died that she moved out. The light turned on after sitting there for a bit. She was telling me to move on. To let it go, and that that place was always going to be just a place. But it took a lot. I should write more about it, but I think it goes to show how healing that process can be. Even if it’s only a one time or a few (drive bys in my case) visit as I’m guessing you will have made the visits to the older home/lot

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Michelle Buck's avatar

Honestly it sucks to visit. I lost my dad in that house. He basically collapsed on the driveway. He had cancer but it was still unexpected. Then we moved and my brother died 5 years later. I’ve replayed it often in my own mind so going there feels like I am not letting go. I suppose there are better perspectives.

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Jake's avatar

That is completely valid. Sometimes those places will bring nothing but pain. Especially under your circumstances. Here for you, that is not an easy thing to relive.

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Sean Bay, Ph.D's avatar

I love this concept. I find nostalgia is such a temptress. Drawing you in to a safe place. It feels good to linger for a moment and be at peace.

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Jake's avatar

Most definitely. It used to be the opposite for me, and I definitely had to do some inner healing before getting to this point.

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