There’s a strange, in-between space when it comes to mental health. You’re not falling apart, but you’re definitely not fine either. You’re functioning. But underneath, it's a different story.
It’s cold here and the lack of sun is getting to me. I miss summer. I love how the snow looks on the trees but I’d rather have the sun so I can go for a real walk. Not only that my daughter is playing emotional games with me and my twin sister is being a brat. I get tired of twisting myself into a pretzel so I just let them be mad and think what they want. I’m not fixing it because it’s their problem. But with that I do feel lonely and misunderstood no matter how bad ass I try to be. I get tired of the same shit being said about me, the constant doubting of my own worth. I don’t think I really want to connect with people anymore. Not if it means I have to sacrifice myself to relate. So I’m just feeling sad and pissed off about it. I definitely can relate to this post. At least that’s something.
Preaching to the CHOIR! I spent the majority of my life so far being caught up with the wrong people who wanted nothing but to see themselves succeed, even if it meant tearing others down. It’s a hard place to be, and I hope it does get easier for you. I know everyone says find that validation within, easier said than done, though. We’re here to support you either way ❤️
I mostly distance myself from people like that - even my own family. They know I have boundaries but try to test them by telling me I am the one pushing them away. Whatever narrative you got tell yourself, I guess! The thing is they know my boundaries and I don't use it as punishment. I use it to protect my mental health. So if they are going to abuse me with words, I will let them know that's unacceptable and if they want to communicate in a healthy way - then I'll listen. So they are the ones that choose to stop talking to me. UGH. Why do people make these things so complicated? I just want people to be honest without being abusive but that's too much to ask. Anyway, I do validate myself - had to learn that the hard way. It's just some days are harder than others.
Just love what youve written! It described for me what I couldnt descriibe , I feel burnt out after a couple of major shocks this last month , Im 80 years old but extremly good for my years , Ive had serious illness which drove me on for knowledge and then to become a reiki master and teach it then a revonnective healer , Done aromatherapy Massage was married to an extremly good medium , he was killed by a speeding car henwent out and never came back! My grand daughter broke her back , I was paralysed with a tumour onnmy spine all not innthat order !Not gettin the violin out and playing victim just releasing ive been through alot And maybe its all left its mark and I cant handle things as good as I used to anyway you described my feeling Im very tired mentally but stil functioning , thankyou for your insight Just rally good !
It’s cold here and the lack of sun is getting to me. I miss summer. I love how the snow looks on the trees but I’d rather have the sun so I can go for a real walk. Not only that my daughter is playing emotional games with me and my twin sister is being a brat. I get tired of twisting myself into a pretzel so I just let them be mad and think what they want. I’m not fixing it because it’s their problem. But with that I do feel lonely and misunderstood no matter how bad ass I try to be. I get tired of the same shit being said about me, the constant doubting of my own worth. I don’t think I really want to connect with people anymore. Not if it means I have to sacrifice myself to relate. So I’m just feeling sad and pissed off about it. I definitely can relate to this post. At least that’s something.
Preaching to the CHOIR! I spent the majority of my life so far being caught up with the wrong people who wanted nothing but to see themselves succeed, even if it meant tearing others down. It’s a hard place to be, and I hope it does get easier for you. I know everyone says find that validation within, easier said than done, though. We’re here to support you either way ❤️
I mostly distance myself from people like that - even my own family. They know I have boundaries but try to test them by telling me I am the one pushing them away. Whatever narrative you got tell yourself, I guess! The thing is they know my boundaries and I don't use it as punishment. I use it to protect my mental health. So if they are going to abuse me with words, I will let them know that's unacceptable and if they want to communicate in a healthy way - then I'll listen. So they are the ones that choose to stop talking to me. UGH. Why do people make these things so complicated? I just want people to be honest without being abusive but that's too much to ask. Anyway, I do validate myself - had to learn that the hard way. It's just some days are harder than others.
Just love what youve written! It described for me what I couldnt descriibe , I feel burnt out after a couple of major shocks this last month , Im 80 years old but extremly good for my years , Ive had serious illness which drove me on for knowledge and then to become a reiki master and teach it then a revonnective healer , Done aromatherapy Massage was married to an extremly good medium , he was killed by a speeding car henwent out and never came back! My grand daughter broke her back , I was paralysed with a tumour onnmy spine all not innthat order !Not gettin the violin out and playing victim just releasing ive been through alot And maybe its all left its mark and I cant handle things as good as I used to anyway you described my feeling Im very tired mentally but stil functioning , thankyou for your insight Just rally good !
Thank you Eileen, you are not alone ❤️I am so happy you have found solace in my writing! You’ve certainly been through a lot, and are welcome here!